Now Your Speakin’ My Love Language
Understanding How To give & Receive Love
This valuable work by Gary D. Chapman has changed my life and thusly why I felt inspired to write this article for you.
Just as we all have different communication styles, we all have ways we most appreciate receiving and giving love. Understanding the love languages that speak to us most clearly can give us a sense of fulfillment and appreciation when sharing and receiving love. We all have a blend of each of these modalities, though there is usually one or two that stand above the rest. Identify them and reflect upon why they are important to you. Gifting this awareness to your partner can dramatically increase the satisfaction we gain from our intimate encounters.
Touch- When you are being physically caressed and in close proximity to your beloved, you sence their loving presence.
Words of Affirmation- The verbal acknowledgement of why the beloved is attracted to you and the audible telling of why you are appreciated, makes you feel how special they think you are.
Acts of Service- When someone does a kind action for you, small or large, you feel nourished and cared for.
Receiving Gifts- Physical and material offerings, even something as small as a flower picked from the garden makes you feel that their action is showing you how much they love you.
Quality Time- The spending of time together and the gifting of undivided attention makes you feel deeply cared for.
Now do your best to reflect on and rate the importance of each of these love languages in your life.
As you become more aware of yourself in relating to these modalities of receiving love, you will find that your ability to give and receive authentic connection will grow. Your ability to speak clearly to those around you about what is easiest for you to receive will also shift and become more rewarding. Loving connections are meant to be fulfilling, as we allow ourselves to express and explore parts of ourselves more freely new beautiful experiences to space to arise naturally. Be attentive to noticing how others respond most joyously to your offerings of love. Be courageous enough to share your desires for howe you’d like to be treated with others. As a 6 year old potently taught me, while petting his head in my lap, his eyes full of love “I want it right here.” as he stroked under his chin like a cat.
This awakened my understanding to a fundamental truth. If someone is willing to lavish us with affection, they are willing to give it to us just the way we like it. Instead of expecting them to read our minds, we can use our loving eyes and kind words to tell them how we want it. Just like that 6 year old taught me.